Chapter 21:
Imagine Yourself at Your Own Funeral
This chapter reminds me to prioritize the people over the objectives. Our impacts on the people around us are more important than our everyday worries. We should try to improve the lives of those around us before anything else. This chapter told me to act how I would like someone to act towards me. Imagining myself at my funeral can act as a great wake-up call to remind myself to be kind to those around me. It can also remind me to live life without regrets.
Chapter 22:
Repeat to Yourself "Life Isn't an Emergency."
“Life isn’t an emergency.” This quote can act as a mantra to repeat to oneself to calm down. Mantra is defined as “a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.” Reminding myself that life isn’t an emergency can help me keep myself from breaking down and feeling overwhelmed. After reading this book, I found many different mantras to say to myself to stop worrying about my sleep schedule and about my classes because life isn’t an emergency. This book has helped me in this way.
Chapter 23:
Experiment with your backburner.
“It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for.”
“Backburner” is the term used to describe the human mind’s power to passively think of solutions to problems when it has less stress. The backburner is what allows us to solve our problems when there is already a lot on our plate. Allowing our backburner to passively keep things in our mind can improve mental health by alleviating the underlying stress in our lives. Having something that is in the back of our mind can slowly build pressure and pressure always has to be released somehow. Preferably, that pressure should be released slowly. Our backburner can help us slowly release that pressure until we’re ready to take on our problems head-on. Our backburner is not a tool to put things off, but rather a way to calm our minds down to take things one at a time. Our mind is much more efficient when it is not under stress.
Chapter 24:
Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank.
Spending a moment every day thanking someone, whether vocally or silently, can be very helpful in improving mental health and clearing the mind. Gratefulness, especially when expressed, is an amazing way to improve one’s happiness. The human mind tends to gravitate towards things that are negative because they’re generally considered more interesting in our heads. Gratefulness is a good way to break this gravitation and bring our minds closer to the positive. Thinking about all of the sad things in the world can quickly be turned into a positive thought by thinking about how grateful we are for the things that we have. This feeling is amplified when we express our gratitude to those around us.
Chapter 25:
Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello.
Generally being friendly to strangers can improve their day as well as ours. Especially when the person we are friendly to is a stranger, it’s important to show small acts of kindness to show that people care about them. We never truly know what someone is thinking or feeling. We can’t predict what it is that someone is going through, especially if they are good at hiding it. So, small things like saying, “Hi” or holding the door for someone can help them out. Helping others, especially strangers, makes us feel better about ourselves because we feel more fulfilled. So, smiling at strangers and knowing that we made them feel just a little better makes us feel good about ourselves.
Chapter 26:
Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day
Sometimes, with all of the chaos in our lives, we forget that we need to take care of ourselves with some peace and quiet. Most people have forgotten how to simply be present because their mind is always somewhere other than their current location. It’s always the next bridge over, or the next obstacle. We never stop thinking and just “be.” But stopping and looking around every once in a while can be rejuvenating. The ability to clear one’s mind can be learned through practice. Learning to think through our problems requires our mind to have a break. So, daily quiet time shows us that we don’t have to worry. Personally, I like to run to clear my mind. The freedom of knowing that my own two feet can take me anywhere reminds me that even if I have to rest sometimes, I’ll one day reach my destination.
Chapter 27:
Imagine the People In Your Life as Tiny Infants and as One-Hundred-Year-Old Adults
This strategy is a good way to improve our patience with those around us. Imagining people who annoy us as children gives a different perspective on whatever it is that we dislike about them. Nobody could really stay angry at a child. In addition to this, imagining people as much older than we are can show us that even people that we may not like have wisdom. Thinking from both of these perspectives shows that everybody has wisdom within themselves as well as mistakes. Just because someone makes mistakes sometimes does not mean that they are not worthy of being listened to. Everybody was once a child and everybody will one day be much older.
Chapter 28:
Seek first to Understand
Describe a situation where you didn’t seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict?
A while ago, during the pandemic, I had an argument with my dad. It was rooted from a political discussion, but at the time, I didn’t know what I was talking about. I just argued based on my own point of view. I wasn’t trying to convince anyone, I just wanted to prove that I was correct. The argument led to a very important lesson. I learned that nothing is really worth arguing over. Every person in the world has their own circumstances and beliefs. One life is not more correct or righteous than another. Once I learned this lesson, I haven’t had an argument with anybody in a long time. Learning to understand others rather than just see their perspective is essential to keeping lasting friendships.
A while ago, during the pandemic, I had an argument with my dad. It was rooted from a political discussion, but at the time, I didn’t know what I was talking about. I just argued based on my own point of view. I wasn’t trying to convince anyone, I just wanted to prove that I was correct. The argument led to a very important lesson. I learned that nothing is really worth arguing over. Every person in the world has their own circumstances and beliefs. One life is not more correct or righteous than another. Once I learned this lesson, I haven’t had an argument with anybody in a long time. Learning to understand others rather than just see their perspective is essential to keeping lasting friendships.
Chapter 29:
Become a Better Listener
Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you? Describe this relationship.
Truthfully, there are very few people that I really trust to talk to. Telling others about my experiences takes vulnerability and I can’t predict when trust suddenly becomes liability. However, one person that I know that I can talk to is my older sister. Bella is a great person for me to talk to sometimes because I know that she shares my mind. We both think in similar ways and I know that she can never betray my trust because we are siblings. Blood is one of the strongest bonds there is. I know that Bella will listen to me when she is available and I know that she will try to help me with my best interest in mind. That being said, she does provide a different perspective because she is an adult. She is learning her own lessons in life, some of which she passes on to me, giving me a learning experience.
Truthfully, there are very few people that I really trust to talk to. Telling others about my experiences takes vulnerability and I can’t predict when trust suddenly becomes liability. However, one person that I know that I can talk to is my older sister. Bella is a great person for me to talk to sometimes because I know that she shares my mind. We both think in similar ways and I know that she can never betray my trust because we are siblings. Blood is one of the strongest bonds there is. I know that Bella will listen to me when she is available and I know that she will try to help me with my best interest in mind. That being said, she does provide a different perspective because she is an adult. She is learning her own lessons in life, some of which she passes on to me, giving me a learning experience.
Chapter 30:
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Describe a time when you “Lost your shhhh” and it really wasn’t worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn’t sweat the small stuff?
I don’t like to confront others because I know that they don’t like to be confronted. So, when I “Lose my shhhh,” it is usually in the form of talking to myself. When I want to confront others, I instead confront myself. While this strategy helps me in some ways, it makes it difficult to cool off or get closure. Anger or sorrow never has positive outcomes unless they teach a lesson. That being said, they are usually associated with pain. So, when I feel anger or sorrow, I run, lift weights, or play video games. When I feel that pain, I use some escape to make myself feel better.
Chapter 31:
Become aware of your moods and don't allow yourself to be fooled by low ones
Explain a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. Vise Versa, explain a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day that you had.
There have been many times that I have woken up in a bad mood. Whether it be from lack of sleep or something happening in my life, there are times that having to go to school is not a pleasant experience. It not only affects my mood, but my performance in my work as well. When I’m in a bad mood, I tend to put less effort into the things that I do. While I try to keep cool, I find that it’s more efficient to do something fun to lighten my mood. When I wake up with a lot of energy, I find it easy to go to seminary and school. Work seems like a breeze and I find it a lot easier to pay attention in my classes. It’s always more fun to be in a good mood.
There have been many times that I have woken up in a bad mood. Whether it be from lack of sleep or something happening in my life, there are times that having to go to school is not a pleasant experience. It not only affects my mood, but my performance in my work as well. When I’m in a bad mood, I tend to put less effort into the things that I do. While I try to keep cool, I find that it’s more efficient to do something fun to lighten my mood. When I wake up with a lot of energy, I find it easy to go to seminary and school. Work seems like a breeze and I find it a lot easier to pay attention in my classes. It’s always more fun to be in a good mood.
Chapter 32:
Life is a test. It is Only a Test.
“As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with” right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it?
Perceiving life as a test is a great way to gain a better understanding of one’s life and oneself. Often, I perceive schooling as a chore rather than an opportunity because most of it feels like busywork. It feels like taking standardized classes creates a world of average that is both difficult and boring. Especially with ambition outside of school, it can feel impossible to stay afloat in an environment that is holding me back. It has created a lot of emotional pits for me, as I feel insufficient. I feel that others have better grades than I do, are stronger than I am, or have high expectations of me. Perceiving life as a test reminds me that grades and expectations do not matter in the way that I perceive. My sufficiency is not defined by those who have succeeded before me.
Perceiving life as a test is a great way to gain a better understanding of one’s life and oneself. Often, I perceive schooling as a chore rather than an opportunity because most of it feels like busywork. It feels like taking standardized classes creates a world of average that is both difficult and boring. Especially with ambition outside of school, it can feel impossible to stay afloat in an environment that is holding me back. It has created a lot of emotional pits for me, as I feel insufficient. I feel that others have better grades than I do, are stronger than I am, or have high expectations of me. Perceiving life as a test reminds me that grades and expectations do not matter in the way that I perceive. My sufficiency is not defined by those who have succeeded before me.
Chapter 33:
Praise and Blame Are All the Same.
You will not please everyone… How does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive?
My mother once said, “You cannot make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.” Personally, I believe that pleasing others should be nothing more than a side effect of doing what is right. We should not do right things to please others, we should be doing them because they are right. We should study because we want to learn, not because there is a test the next day. In the real world, there will always be unhappy individuals. There will always be individuals unhappy with our performance, our personality, or our opinions. We interact with so many different people in our lives and if everyone was the same, maybe we could make everyone happy. Really, everyone has dislikes about people and things that they enjoy. To have everyone happy is to achieve perfection, which is impossible. We can only get as close as our own happiness allows us to.
Chapter 34:
Practice Random Acts of Kindness.
Describe a time when you completed RAK and how did it make you feel?
I make it a habit to open doors for others. Not only does it make me feel less awkward walking in front of people, it makes me feel useful to open a door for somebody. Something small and insignificant makes a world of difference in the minds of others. Although it cannot make people’s lives easier, it can make their day slightly better. I remember times when I needed someone to show some random kindness to me, and even though we may not always receive the help that we need, it is important to be willing to provide it. It’s an incredible feeling to serve others and it’s an incredible feeling to be served. So, it is important to practice random acts of kindness to move ourselves one step closer to being happier.
I make it a habit to open doors for others. Not only does it make me feel less awkward walking in front of people, it makes me feel useful to open a door for somebody. Something small and insignificant makes a world of difference in the minds of others. Although it cannot make people’s lives easier, it can make their day slightly better. I remember times when I needed someone to show some random kindness to me, and even though we may not always receive the help that we need, it is important to be willing to provide it. It’s an incredible feeling to serve others and it’s an incredible feeling to be served. So, it is important to practice random acts of kindness to move ourselves one step closer to being happier.