Chapter 49
Resist the Urge to Criticize
What is one example of "small stuff" that you let get to you recently?:
Recently, I had the opportunity to perform in front of the school with the Rock and Roll club. While this was a wonderful experience that I am immensely grateful for, at the time it seemed like a stressor in my life. As we struggled to agree on scheduling rehearsals, I began to worry that our performance would lack. On the last day before the performance, our rehearsal was canceled without my knowledge, which annoyed me greatly at the time. Yet, as I got up on the amphitheater and unleashed my emotions on the bass guitar, I wondered why I was ever angry at the conflict. The music allowed me to release the stress and realize how small it was. So, I have learned to be more patient. I learned that the quality of the performance comes from the unity of the band members as opposed to the amount of times they practiced. If I had stayed angry with them, the show would not have been the best that it could have been. That being said, practice never hurts.
Recently, I had the opportunity to perform in front of the school with the Rock and Roll club. While this was a wonderful experience that I am immensely grateful for, at the time it seemed like a stressor in my life. As we struggled to agree on scheduling rehearsals, I began to worry that our performance would lack. On the last day before the performance, our rehearsal was canceled without my knowledge, which annoyed me greatly at the time. Yet, as I got up on the amphitheater and unleashed my emotions on the bass guitar, I wondered why I was ever angry at the conflict. The music allowed me to release the stress and realize how small it was. So, I have learned to be more patient. I learned that the quality of the performance comes from the unity of the band members as opposed to the amount of times they practiced. If I had stayed angry with them, the show would not have been the best that it could have been. That being said, practice never hurts.
Chapter 50
Write down your five most stubborn positions and see if you can soften them
Where do you find stubbornness in yourself?:
Within me, stubbornness can be found in many places. My stubbornness does not come in the form of politics or ideals, but rather in the form of my refusal to get involved in certain situations that may be healthy for me to revisit. In many instances, I know that avoiding a conflict can be unhealthy for me, but I still resist. I can’t bring myself to have that conversation with someone that may fix something that is broken. Some of this comes from pride. Some of it comes from fear. Much of it comes from a simple indifferent belief that the world will keep spinning and I will be happier should I learn not to care about it. Yet, ignorance is not a positive quality. I know that. Yet, I find myself stubborn to revisit old graves. I think of it like a jar of pickles. It’s only going to get saltier and it won’t expire for a long time, but once it is opened, it can never be closed the same way again. Hence, the button on the lid of the jar to signify whether it has been opened yet. So, I find myself stubborn to open the jar, but perhaps it could be healthier to resolve the conflicts to get them off of my mind.
Within me, stubbornness can be found in many places. My stubbornness does not come in the form of politics or ideals, but rather in the form of my refusal to get involved in certain situations that may be healthy for me to revisit. In many instances, I know that avoiding a conflict can be unhealthy for me, but I still resist. I can’t bring myself to have that conversation with someone that may fix something that is broken. Some of this comes from pride. Some of it comes from fear. Much of it comes from a simple indifferent belief that the world will keep spinning and I will be happier should I learn not to care about it. Yet, ignorance is not a positive quality. I know that. Yet, I find myself stubborn to revisit old graves. I think of it like a jar of pickles. It’s only going to get saltier and it won’t expire for a long time, but once it is opened, it can never be closed the same way again. Hence, the button on the lid of the jar to signify whether it has been opened yet. So, I find myself stubborn to open the jar, but perhaps it could be healthier to resolve the conflicts to get them off of my mind.
Chapter 51
Just for fun, agree with Criticism Directed Toward You (and watch it go away)
Describe a time when someone criticized you and discuss the emotions you felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author’s idea to accept the criticism?
I’ve been criticized many times and usually I welcome the criticism solely because I prefer criticism to silence. I believe that, if someone has something to say to me, critical or not, I would much rather prefer that they tell me than keep it bottled up. It’s difficult for criticism to really feel good because of how much we associate criticism with failure. However, I have found the opposite of this to be true. The other day, I had the opportunity to invite a former teacher of mine to look over a fiction story that I was writing. Overall, he found it somewhat interesting, but he was unafraid to be honest with me. Nonetheless, I sincerely appreciated all that he had to say because it was extremely helpful to that draft. I think that the author is right in the way that we can accept our criticisms so that we do not have to worry about them.
I’ve been criticized many times and usually I welcome the criticism solely because I prefer criticism to silence. I believe that, if someone has something to say to me, critical or not, I would much rather prefer that they tell me than keep it bottled up. It’s difficult for criticism to really feel good because of how much we associate criticism with failure. However, I have found the opposite of this to be true. The other day, I had the opportunity to invite a former teacher of mine to look over a fiction story that I was writing. Overall, he found it somewhat interesting, but he was unafraid to be honest with me. Nonetheless, I sincerely appreciated all that he had to say because it was extremely helpful to that draft. I think that the author is right in the way that we can accept our criticisms so that we do not have to worry about them.
Chapter 52
Search for the Grain of Truth in Other Opinions
Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn’t agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did the overall conversations go?
There was a long period of time that I would hear many political jokes that would make me feel out of place. It wasn’t because I disagreed with political jokes necessarily, but I disagreed with the use of politics in such a satirical manner. Thoughts of doubt began to creep into my mind regarding the perspective of the other person. Yet, I found it much easier to laugh at the jokes with them. When I looked for the truth in what they were saying, I found it clear as day. I learned that there is a very, very small group of people that will support something that they believe is not true. Everyone is trying to push their own perspectives based on their own knowledge. Whether that knowledge is true or not is not mine to police. I am no teacher, so I should not take it upon myself to criticize others for being uneducated in my perspective.
There was a long period of time that I would hear many political jokes that would make me feel out of place. It wasn’t because I disagreed with political jokes necessarily, but I disagreed with the use of politics in such a satirical manner. Thoughts of doubt began to creep into my mind regarding the perspective of the other person. Yet, I found it much easier to laugh at the jokes with them. When I looked for the truth in what they were saying, I found it clear as day. I learned that there is a very, very small group of people that will support something that they believe is not true. Everyone is trying to push their own perspectives based on their own knowledge. Whether that knowledge is true or not is not mine to police. I am no teacher, so I should not take it upon myself to criticize others for being uneducated in my perspective.